A Human’s Guide to Surviving Magical Mishaps

I spend the rest of the morning and the entire afternoon trying to get a moment alone with Ashton, to find a chance to ask him about his feelings. The problem is I never seem to be alone. I love my friends but they are still keeping a close eye on me. Even when they go to the other room I'm very aware of the fact that Fin can hear the conversations we have in other rooms. The sun has just gone down when I realise that I should have asked him to go for a walk with me or something. I didn't have to stay in the house. I guess I still could ask him to go for a walk or something, but it's dark now and it would be a little weird. Damn it, why is this so HARD? It's just one question. I just want to know how he really feels about me. I must be acting weird around him because he's been shooting me strange glances all afternoon. He seems concerned, he probably thinks my weird attitude is because I'm freaking out about dad's funeral tomorrow, which I totally am. But in this case that's not why I'm stressed out. Lucy and Marcus have taken care of all the arrangements for that. All I have to do is turn up and say a few words if I'm able to. Lucy helped me write a speech earlier today. I'm not totally sure I'll be in any state to choke the words out but I'll see how I go. I've been actively trying NOT to focus on the funeral. That's just left me with even more energy to focus on my stupid inability to ask one damn question! That's all I can think about. Does he love me or doesn't he? And if he does then why hasn't he SAID it. He ACTS like he cares about me, he acts like he wants a relationship with me. The way he acts and treats me is honestly pretty perfect most of the time. But he's always honest, he doesn't lie. He's the one who has initiated most of our conversations about feelings. Except for the first time I told him I loved him. That was so much easier than this, maybe because I was a bit drunk... Well now I'm tempted to go down some shots or something so I can get up the nerve to actually ask him. I find myself pacing the hallway and generally getting in everyone's way. The only person who is more inconvenient than me is Bast who seems to have mastered the art of standing or lying on the floor RIGHT where you plan to step which results in you trying to avoid him and tripping over. I've already tripped over him three times today and I've heard Lucy curse at him a few times as well. I'm probably on my hundredth lap of the hallway when I turn and walk straight into Ashton who catches my shoulders and stops me from toppling backwards.

"Kat? Sweetheart, you appear to be very anxious. Is there something I can do to help?" He asks. This is it, my chance. All I need to do is ask him. I take a deep breath, I can totally do this. The concern on his face is encouraging, it makes it easier to believe I'm going to like the answer he gives me.

"Well, I was wondering i-" I'm cut off by Marcus wandering out the kitchen and colliding with Ashton who quickly steps away from him.

"Shit, sorry man." Marcus says, looking nervous. He knows how weird the fae are about touching. But it was an honest accident and Ashton isn't upset or anything. Still, the moment is ruined and my moment of bravery has passed. "It is fine." Ashton assures him. Marcus carefully steps around Ashton and continues down the hallway and Ashton turns his attention back to me.

"You were about to ask me something?" Ashton prompts. I flush bright red and shake my head.

"No. I mean, it's nothing. I... I forgot." I stammer out. Then before he can so much as blink, I turn and rush back to my bedroom and close the door behind me. That was totally embarrassing. I can't bring myself to leave my room again and when Ashton comes to bed I pretend I'm already asleep, I'm too stressed out for a serious emotional conversation right now. I'll try to ask him tomorrow instead. I don't know if he buys that I'm asleep or not, but either way he stays quiet as he lies down beside me and not long after I fall asleep for real.novelbin

The next morning is a blur. Lucy gets me dressed in a black dress I forgot I owned, or maybe it's one of Lucy's. I don't know. She tidies my hair and pins it back in a french twist, then she helps me apply a little makeup. Not much, just enough to make me look extra put together, and she doesn't bother with eye makeup at all. She doesn't say it, but it's because she expects me to cry. She's probably right. We head out to the hallway where Marcus is dressed nicer than I've ever seen him, all in black of course. Ashton and Fin meet us by the front door. They're both in black outfits a lot like what Marcus is wearing. I suspect that they're wearing glamours because I don't remember buying them anything like that. I guess Marcus coached them through what to wear. Then Lucy drives us to the funeral.

It was a good service I suppose. There were a lot of people there, which I guess says nice things about my dad, that so many people wanted to come and see him. I was the first one to speak, I read out the speech Lucy and I wrote together. I didn't think I would be able to get through it but that numb feeling made another appearance. I probably read the entire thing in a monotone but I did finish it. After me, George said a few words. They were nice, but I don't really remember any of them. Honestly I was just trying to get through it. Instead of really listening I was just looking at George. He looked sad obviously, but more than that he looked exhausted. He hugged me before we left, a giant bear hug. He whispered for me to take care and to call him when I'm ready to talk. I think I'll do that soon, I hope. Seeing Goerge makes me sad, but he's a comforting presence as well. Solid and reliable, seeing him is a good reminder that not everything has changed. I'll call him soon. Once the funeral is over I'm exhausted. It's not even been that long but everyone wanted to talk to me, to check on me. So many people hugged me that I almost feel gross at this point. Maybe a little claustrophobic. Lucy must see that I'm struggling because she takes over, loads me back into the car, and we head home. Ashton hasn't gone more than a foot away from me all morning, he's been in arms reach the entire time and aside from when I gave my speech and when other people were hugging me, he basically kept an arm looped loosely around my waist the entire time. Weirdly, despite feeling exhausted, as soon as I get home I find I'm full of nervous energy. I want to be out, walking, shopping, anything really. I also don't want anymore sympathetic looks and consolations. I want to be around people who don't know me. Without a word, I head to my room and change into jeans and a black tshirt. Still dark, I don't feel colourful right now, but less formal. I don't want to LOOK like I've been at a funeral.That will just trigger more questions. What I want is to blend in, to be totally anonymous. In comfy clothes and sneakers, I head back out into the hall and grab my keys. Ashton raises an eyebrow.

"Are we going somewhere?" He asks curiously. I shake my head.

"No, I'm going out. You're staying here." I say firmly.