CHAPTER 99: STONE OF REDEMTION
“What do you mean by that?” I asked.
“It is not just a mating ceremony. With this, you would be sworn in as a member of the pack. You’ll officially become on of us.”
“When you say sworn in what’s that all about?”
“It means that we’ll be bonded by blood. This is not just physical.”
“Okay? Nikkei briefed me a bit about the whole thing but I guess she forgot to include that part.”
“I want us to make this work. That is why I’m going to leave you with a choice. If you don’t want to do this then it’s fine.”
“But what about the council?”
I didn’t want Kieran to leave me with a choice. I just wanted to get it done. But clearly, that’s not what it seemed. It would be more than that and I didn’t know if I would be willing to accept that.
“We would find a way around it. I can sneak you out to a place that they would never find you.”
“And then what happens to you and your kingdom?”
“We would be fine. If they come, then we would fight back. We would win.”
“And what if you don’t? Because you don’t sound sure. It’s all a probability.” I said. He took his hands away.
“Kieran…”
“Clara, I’m not about to take this very important part of your life as a werewolf from you. I can’t do that to you.”
“Or is this about your ex?”
“No, that’s far from it. It is about you. I want this to be what you want. If not, then I can’t have it. Look, you don’t have to give me an answer now. Go back to your room. Take as long as you want to think about it.”
“Kieran stop please, you also have a choice here and you chose to save me. I have thought about it long before I came here. I want to do this with you. Let’s do this. What other way do you want me to say it? We might feel nothing for each other but this feels right. And I’ll give you an heir if you want. Let this be what I have to offer for all that you have done for me.”
“Clara…” He called out but I didn’t stop. I wanted to let it all out.
“This is my choice,” I said and walked back to my room. As I walked back, the mating ceremony plans replayed in my head. I knew that if I had to do this, then I needed someone that had a good idea about the werewolves. I knew I needed Nikkei.
…
The walk to Nikkei’s room felt a bit longer that it should. I didn’t know why exactly but I knew that it had to do with what had happened between us. I should have handled the matter a lot differently, I know that now. Every clack of my heels against the marble floor, had me flinching. It wasn’t the usual fear of walking through the unfamiliar palace after dark. This time, the fear came at me from the inside. The one for guilt and regret.
I couldn’t help it as the incident replayed every time in my head. My response to her was nothing I should be proud of. On every other day, I would have said that my outburst towards Nikkei was fuelled by frustration at what had been happening. I always let my emotions in control but not anymore. I needed to make it all right again. And I needed Nikkei, she has not been just a teacher but also a friend. She was patient and had the eyes that held the wisdom of centuries. She surely didn’t deserve those words of mine.
As soon as I got to the door, I felt the urge to go back. She was someone that I couldn’t easily understand her thoughts. And I didn’t know if she saw me as someone that could be given a second chance.
“You can do this. It is Nikkei,” I muttered and then knocked on the door. It didn’t take long before I heard the click from the latch and then the door pulled open. She might have been expecting me. As the heavy wooden door creaked open, I braced myself. The familiar scent of sweet lavender and jasmine tea greeted me. Although it was disappointing because I was certainly expecting something more witchy, like the smell of wood smoke and herbs rushing through my nostrils. I guess I needed to update my thoughts.
“Hi,” I said as I walked in.
Nikkei sat on a blue velvet cushion by the small fireplace, with a book open on her lap. Her gaze flicked up from the page. She didn’t look away from it neither did she look at me. It was as though no one was speaking. But I was there for a reason, even if she chose not to assist me anymore, I could live with that.
“Do you need a witch’s help?” She asked still staring at the pages of the book.
“No, I came to see you. Nikkei,” I paused exhaling forcefully, “I know you probably don’t want to see me or talk to me again but I need to talk to you.”Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.
“Clara,” she called out her voice was unexpectedly calm.
“If you want to talk to me then you should have a seat. Tea?”
“No, I’m fine.”
I was surprised by her calmness.
I shuffled across the thick Persian rug being self-conscious under her gaze. No one spoke for a while and the silence felt long. It became too heavy and suffocating. I knew that I should speak. Perhaps state the reason why I had come. But her silence wasn’t making it any easier for me. Or maybe it was my guilt.
“I’m so sorry, Nikkei.”
Finally I spoke out. And just then I felt a bit at peace. I knew it wasn’t over yet.
She closed the book with a soft thud.
“For what?”
“Everything,” I mumbled, avoiding her eyes.
“For yelling at you. I shouldn’t have said those words to you. I was out of line. I’m deeply sorry.”
“You know, you really do not have to be here. You shouldn’t even apologize for anything.”
“Why? I hurt you.”
“You possess powers that no one has ever witnessed before. Asides that, you are to be mated to the King. Soon, you’ll become my queen and I’ll become your subordinate. So all of this closure is not needed. You can do as you wish.”
“No, please don’t say that. I can never see you as that. I don’t belong here. I don’t even deserve any of this. Even when you didn’t know me you still treated me right. You spoke to me with so much kindness and treated me like a true friend. But instead I hurt you. I didn’t realize what a friend you are until I said those words. That is why I don’t just need your forgiveness.”
“You have my forgiveness in fact I was never mad at you.”
“I know you Nikkei at least I think I do. You don’t need to be mad to accept an apology. I need your true forgiveness Nikkei. That’s the only way for me to know that you are okay.”
There was silence again. And then, Nikkei left the seat to a table where she poured out some tea in two cups. She handed one to me.
“Here, we can talk about this properly if you’d like,” she spoke her voice was gentle.
I smiled and took the cup then I perched on the edge of a chair. As I took a sip from the cup, I felt the guilt that once burned in my throat, gradually reduced.