Chapter 47 Is he crazy?
He placed me on the bed. Thought that the kiss would go smooth and soft, but no.
His kisses fell on me dominantly. I do have an eagerness to stop it but I don’t want to ruin it. So I softly placed my hand on his chest.
The second thing I heard was his voice, “take your fucking hands off me”.
Man???? Are you talking to me?
I didn’t respond to anything and just kept the hand there. He shot me a cold look and backed off his body from mine. He rolled me over and held my scalp of hair in his hand. He leaned near me and whispered in his cold voice. “Since you act like a slut who would sleep with everyone, then let me treat you like a slut too”.
The tearing sound of my pants filled the room.
I am so sure that it will not go as a fantasy I wanted, instead I am pretty sure that he just wants me to pay off for everything. I irritated him and just pushed him away, but I do have reasons. This god man will not understand that.
He took off his belt and the next thing I felt was a hit from his belt. It felt like a wimp and I groaned in pain.
Is he crazy? Why is he behaving like this?
I tried to break free from him but he put his weight on my leg so I could not move. “You wanna get out, my little slut?”, his words echoed in my ears.
How dare he call me like that?
What does he know about me? He don’t know how fucked up am I in my own shit and this god damn guy didn’t care about it and always thinks that he can control everything in his hand.
I really can’t take it, can’t take any shit of it. I just feel too toxic.
“William, will you stop it?”, I shouted.
In a second, he stopped what he was doing and put down the belt in his hand. The first thing I did was, break free from his grip. It was too tight, but I still have to do it. When I finally did it, I said, “Are you crazy? Why are you doing that? Do you really know that much about me? Uh, then why are you calling me a slut?”. I shot him question by question. I really can’t take this shit.
He kept looking at me and all of sudden, kneeled in front of me.
What does this god damn doing?
“William, William”, I called out his name as I sat in front of him.
My cold palm wrapped with his warm and hot hand. “William…”, I called out his name softly. Suddenly he hugged me and buried his face in my chest and started to cry.
Is this the arrogant cold William, I know? Why is he like this?
He hugged me tighter and kept sobbing and crying. I cupped his face in my palm and lifted his face to face me. His red watery eyes were so pure like a child. “I am sorry”, he whispered in a sobbing voice and hugged me again.
“I am sorry”
“I am sorry”
“I am sorry”
As he kept apologizing, his cries became louder and louder.
“William, William, William. It is okay, it’s ok, stop, stop. Just look at me, look at me. Just look at me”, I said as I patted his head.
Seriously, I have never seen him like this. He is just acting like a child.
William lifted his head and looked at me. “I am so..”, he whispered once again, but before he finished his sentences, I placed my thumb on his thin lips, and said, “don’t say it again”.
“But…”, I cut him off again, “no but”.
I cupped his cheeks with both of my palms and kissed his forehead. “It’s getting late, let’s go and sleep first”, as I said, I supported his arm and helped him to get up.
He was too obedient. I have never seen him like this. He got up and lay on his bed to sleep, but he still held my hand tighter and said, “don’t go anywhere, sleep with me here”.
“Okay, okay, I will”, I said and lay next to him. His long and tired eye wings forced him to sleep. It was too beautiful. Maybe this is what I wanted. I want him to be as patient as this.
But wait, why am I like this?Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.
I clearly knows that I has many things on her list and this is not one of them. I can’t simply do everything I want. And moreover what, I know that the thing that I wanted for myself, just myself, can’t simply be mine.
Not only Lana, maybe there must be anyone else too.
I came back to reality when I felt him stuffing his head in my chest and my arm. I looked down at him, I really wanted to scream.
Damn god man, why do you always make me feel like this? Yes, I do feel butterflies in my stomach when you are around, but I can’t simply take it to myself. I want the things that we are doing, but god help me. How can I pretend to not like when I like it? I am also a normal girl who wanted to be loved and just wanted to be myself, but why??? Why does my mind always think about others and not put myself first ? It is not selfish, so why am I not doing it?
I closed my eyes and tried to stop thinking about it and I gradually fell asleep.
… [POV ended]
The next morning Adriana woke up when she heard an alarm beeping sound. She looked at the man who was sleeping soundly next to her. She didn’t want to wake him up, so she just silently got out of the bed. She wore his shirt yesterday’s , because her clothes were torn apart by him.
Before she went out, once again, she looked at his handsome face again. She changed her mind…