LOVE AGAIN

Define your Mr. Right

handsome? Charming? Gentle? Caring?

Well mine isn’t that complicated. I just want someone to love me just the way I am , an average girl but it seems like it’s the hardest thing ever.

I picked up my baggage and turned to the other direction.

My body was wet and my hands were shivering.

I tried to guess if it’s from heavy rain or just soaked up by my own tears.

I looked up and I guessed right, the weather was sunny and no sign of rain, it was all my miserable tears.

My name is Valerie and I was engaged nine months ago to my Mr Right, Luke. I never knew that everything had turned wrong the moment I introduced him to my best friend Kamsy 2 years ago.

“You should have seen it coming, lol! Don’t be sad I will name our daughter after you, bestie”.

Kamsy shouted after me standing at the door post with my boyfriend… ex boyfriend, holding her waist in a way that breaks my heart.

I didn’t look back, I tried not to fall either, I felt dizzy and weak, I had cried severally begging him that we can work things out but his words kept ringing in my head.

“You.. and I… just a mistake Valerie, I … didn’t know what I wanted when I engaged you… you are not my type, I am sorry, you should move on”.

He said this to me hours ago when he came to my work place on our anniversary day.

“But …. we’ve been together for three years now, you’ve never complained to me about anything, where have I gone wrong?”

I replied in tears.

“3 years together, doesn’t mean we are going to be together forever, please understand like an adult, you’re embarrassing me by making me look bad, people are watching”.

I turned slowly and stared at the faces of my colleagues.

Yes, he came to my workplace to break up with me , with the customers and everyone watching.

Our loved up huge pic was still mounted on my table,

I never cease to gush and brag about him to my colleagues, now it’s more like a joke of a pic.

“I want to know what I did wrong, please, just tell me Luke”.

“Are you dumb! What can’t you understand Valerie!”

He screamed at me.

That made me scared he might try to slap me if care wasn’t taken. My colleague and friend Daniel came to my rescue.

“Bro, please can you go softer on her?”

He told Luke gently.

“Stay out of our business”Luke snapped back at him.

“This is a workplace not your house Mr man, where’s the security!” Daniel shouted back, annoyed.

The company’s senior security came to us and asked Luke to leave or he would force him to.

I quickly dried my face with the back of my hand.

“Please, security, it’s okay, just a minute”I pleaded then

turned to my boyfriend.

“Baby can we just…”

“Don’t call me that, stop it! Your things are outside the door already, come pick them up”.

He finally said and left leaving me swimming in my endless tears.

“How interesting, our perfect relationship!”

Jennifer, one of my female colleagues shouted and a few others laughed mockingly.

I tried to run after him but my feet froze, I slowly sat down, my hands were shaking uncontrollably.

The next customer waiting looked at me with the most pitiful eyes.

I tried to smile back at her but I couldn’t, instead more tears rolled down my cheeks.

“Ma… madam… your name please?”

I stuttered, and brushed the tears off my face as I continued attending to the customer, my fingers couldn’t even hold a pen well.

“You should rest for now, I will be back tomorrow”.

The lady said with care and left, I nodded and muttered thanks.

As soon as she was gone, I bent down on my table, and cried.

None of my female colleagues cared to console me. Instead I could hear them mumbling words to each other. I had to put myself together or I would lose my job for being a cry baby during office hours.

I got up and walked to the restroom to wash my face clean.

After the day’s work , I rushed straight to my boyfriend’s place.

Seeing my things outside hurt me like I was just stabbed in the heart.

I tried to remember what I did wrong but nothing, how many times I did I forgive his cheating and how many abortions I did to save our relationship.

I crushed my abdomen and knelt down there crying in pain.

The door opened, I looked up and saw my friend kamsy. This time I had no idea what was happening between the two secret lovers. I was too shocked to speak, I just stared at her in surprise.

“Kamsy, what are you doing here?”

She ran to me,”Are you okay, did he hurt you?”

I broke down crying and hugged her.

“Kamsy , what did I do to deserve such an embarrassment, I did nothing wrong?”

“Shhh it’s okay I have talked to him”she said and helped me up to my feet.

“How did you know about this?”I asked, looking up at her, curious, as streams of tears kept rolling down my cheeks.

Luke came out of the house, the two gazed at each other back to me. Then Kamsy breaks into a very loud laughter.

I hope this is a joke, why are they acting like they know something I do not. I was still having hiccups from my crying as I watched her in confusion.

“Kamsy what is happening, can someone talk to me?”

She walked back to Luke and kissed him, my eyes grew wide and my heart shattered.

“Poor Valerie, I told you, you can’t get married before me. You think I was joking around. I also told you, I can make your man be my man but you are too naive and you underestimated me Valerie. I am too beautiful to be a single, babe these curves ain’t no joke”

she turned around to show off her killer curves

“I.. don’t understand, that is my fiancé”I replied and chuckled sadly.

Truly I don’t understand. What the hell is Kamsy saying? As an introvert and someone who loves genuinely, Kamsy is more like a sister to me.

I love Kamsy, I care so much about her , I love Kamsy like a sister I never had.

She showed me her finger.

“I am engaged to your man, not your type of engagement because we also have a wedding invitation card for you…..”.

I thought I was hallucinating.

A wedding card for me?

“Baby?”

She turned to Luke.

Luke brought a card and gave it to her.

She threw it on the floor in front of me, smiling while leaning on Luke’s shoulder.

I slowly picked it up, curious. This is crazy, I think I am going crazy , all I could do was laugh.

“You got me, is this some kind of tik tok prank or surprise. You are joking right, you two are getting married, a big joke, he is my fiance and you are ….”

Kamsy cuts in, making a sad face.

“I am your best friend, yes I know honey, life is so sad, when you can’t keep your man, well someone else does that for you”.

I still can’t believe it.

“This is no movie Kamsy, so stop joking about important stuff like, you joke too much Kamsy, and Luke enough of this prank, please someone be serious”.

I chuckled out sadly.

Yes, that was just the beginning of my story, it happens the surprise breakup wasn’t a prank at all.

I got a cab and went straight back to my place. I cried all the way home, making the cab driver steal glances at me.

I got home, paid him and went inside, just at the doorway I suddenly had this idea to commit suicide.

It is for the best, I feel like, that’s what I deserve, I just can’t live with this pain and betrayal.

It was my best friend and the first man I ever loved, my first kiss , my first ever and Kamsy, the friend I could die for.

What is my crime?

Nothing, absolutely nothing!

I have a personality that makes it easy to be stamped on and kick off. I wish I could have a little of that toughness to fight back but my heart was weak. I should end my useless life or else I will keep on keeping on.

I rushed out in the rain to get rat poison. My phone rang several times in my raincoat but I ignored it. I decided to buy a sniper in the nearest store.

“Valerie?”

A voice called me out from the queue, I turned, it’s my colleague Daniel. I quickly forced a smile awkwardly.

“Hey Daniel.. emm., what are you doing in my neighborhood?”

“Here is your sniper ma’am”

The sales girl handed it over.

I cursed within me, but thanked her.

“Those stubborn rats, they really need to be stopped”

I said out loud without no one asking what it’s for.

“I called you several times, you didn’t pick up, I got worried so I decided to come around. Can I accompany you home?”he said softly.

“Not now please!”I yelled in my mind.

But if I refuse his offer, he will definitely suspect something.

“No problem at all Dan”I replied with a smile.

He had an umbrella with him so he shades me with it, without minding his own body getting soaked.

We got to my place and I tried to get him going so I could do what I had to.

“I am expecting a very important visitor, thanks for your company and the umbrella too”.

I turned to go in.

“Can I stay with you for a while?”

He said looking at the poison I was holding.

I was really impatient. I have no time for this now.

“Alright”.

I gave in, he thanked me and entered the room.

I took off my wet clothes, got dried up then changed into a nightie.

I put on the generator and turned on the television for him to keep him busy but he kept following me around like a puppy.

“About what happened in the company….”

“Oh please don’t start,”

I said in my mind while smiling and nodding at him.

“Are you sure you are okay, Val?”

I just flashed my teeth and nodded.

“I am okay, absolutely”.

“Your eyes are red and weak, I can’t believe you were in a relationship with a jerk like that for 3 years”.

“Luke is not a jerk, he was just deceived”I replied slowly.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

“Deceived my foot! Is he a child?”

“They said boys will always be boys”.

I tried to end the discussion.

“He engaged you in front of your colleagues and thinks it’s right to end it there too, what nonsense, can’t you see how Jennifer and others laughed at you, they said lots of stuff about you and thanks to your ex boyfriend”.

I couldn’t take it, so I stood up, my heart pounding heavily.

“What is your problem Daniel! Please…please can you just let me be , for goodness sake I am fine! Fine!

Stop bringing that up okay! If they wish to laugh at me, let them laugh, mock me, call me the names they want to, I don’t care. You are a man stop going around gossiping like a woman, just let me be please”.

I shouted back, holding back my tears.

Looking at the disappointment on his face, I knew I went far. Daniel is the only one who has been friendly to me since I joined that company, he is not a gossip either, he just cares too much, sometimes he just like a reflection of myself but a male version, maybe that’s why he is closer to me than others, he never meant any harm, and he’s not doing this to take advantage of me anytime, besides Daniel is in a healthy relationship so whatever his reasons are, they’re pure.

I wanted to apologize but was too ashamed to, I never should have let my emotions get in my head.

“Fine I will leave, I just can’t get the drama at the company off my head, I put myself in your shoes Valerie and decided to check on you as a friend should”.

He said gently then walked to the place I had placed that sniper and took it.

“If you don’t have any reason to live, can I be the reason, no matter what you think you passed through, it’s not worth it, I wish you can see yourself the way I see you, look into that mirror right there and tell me, is that brat really worth your life?”

“My fiance and friend whom I trusted like a sister betrayed me Daniel. They played me with no mercy, I was the side chick all along.

The money chic, the laundry chick, the cook chick and the abortion chick, while she is the main woman, I was deceived and stabbed in the back by my best friend, someone I once gave my blood for, someone I fought for , someone I will literally do anything for, someone who I shared all my secrets with!

What about my boyfriend Luke? He was my first, I loved and gave up my all in our relationship, i forgave his unfaithfulness and broken promises, I tried to be the perfect partner but yet, here we are, without a single reason why he chose to hurt me, tell me how someone as unfortunate as I am should live on”.

“Don’t say such things Val”.

“I killed seven babies, seven! Daniel.. seven of them precious souls, because my friend told me that it will saw my relationship, because my fiance said he isn’t ready to be a father, I aborted them, now I have realized the monster I was then, I was so selfish, that I don’t care about those lives I wasted, I deserve to die”.

“You are not the only person that has had an abortion and it’s a good thing you regret it now”.

He sighed deeply

“Please forgive yourself and move on”.

He finally, and left.

I fell on my knees and cried my heart out.