My Hockey Alpha



Could it be that he was struggling just as much as I was all along but he was just too afraid to show it?

I clenched my hands, my nails digging into the flesh of my palms. Why hadn't I seen it before? Why had I assumed that I was the only one affected, the only one who needed support?

As I stared at the rippling water, the realization hit me with crushing weight: what if Enzo was going through his own hell and I wasn't there to help him through it? He was so worried about what would happen to me while he was away, but what if something happened to him while he was away? What if, like me, he too shouldn't be alone?

"Should I go with him?" I muttered aloud, calling to my wolf again. "What if we've been overlooking the simplest option all along?"

"I wouldn't call it the simplest," my wolf said. "You would have to put medical school on hold. That's not simple."

"But he needs me," I shot back, sighing heavily. "He needs me, maybe more than he even realizes, and I've been totally blind to it."

The water of the stream suddenly blurred, distorted by the new flood of tears. I felt so overwhelmed, the weight of my ignorance pressing down on me like a thousand-pound weight.

"He needs you, but you also need him," my wolf said softly, breaking her silence.

"I know," I whispered, my voice quivering. "I just wish I had paid attention sooner."

Suddenly, the rustling of leaves and the crunch of twigs underfoot alerted me to his approach before I even saw him. My wolf perked up instantly, conflicted emotions swirling within me. I knew it was Enzo, but a part of me didn't want to face him-not yet.

He emerged from the tree line, his eyes searching the darkening landscape until they settled on me. "Nina," he breathed out, the relief in his voice mingling with an undertone of guilt. "There you are."

"I don't want to talk," I found myself saying, folding my arms instinctively over my chest. "I'm not in the mood right now."

He stopped a few feet away, his eyes filled with regret. "Look, I know I shouldn't have acted the way I did, Nina. I'm really sorry. Are you hurt?"

I turned away, my gaze falling on the stream once again. "I'm fine. But 'sorry' isn't really gonna cut it right now. What's gotten into you?"

"No, it doesn't," he agreed, his voice subdued. "I lost control and I shouldn't have. That's all I really have to say."

The raw emotion in his voice tempted me to look at him, to fall into those eyes that had always been my sanctuary. But I resisted. "Lost control? Is that what we're calling it now? Did you also lose control when you beat the hell out of that burglar?"

As I spoke, Enzo's eyes widened slightly. "You-"

"Oh, I heard," I said, my voice lowering. "What the hell, Enzo? I thought we were on the same page yesterday- about how violence won't solve anything. About how that isn't our way. Our pack is called the Peacekeepers, Enzo. Beating the shit out of people doesn't exactly define 'peace."Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

He sighed, his footsteps moving closer. "I know. I just... I got frustrated, Nina. About everything. Work, the pack politics, our disagreement... It got too much and I lashed out."

I spun around, my eyes locking onto his. "We're both frustrated, Enzo. But that doesn't give you the right to get physical."

A deep sigh escaped him, his shoulders sagging as if carrying the weight of the world. "I know. I messed up, big time. And I don't expect you to just forgive and forget, but I can't bear the thought of losing you over my stupidity." My heart wavered, torn between my lingering anger and the love that had never ceased, even in our darkest moments. "You won't lose me." I stood, turning to face him. "But Enzo, we need to talk. Not just about this, but the ultimatum you gave me yesterday."

He looked exasperated, running his hands through his hair.

"Alright," he finally said after a beat. He held his hand out to me, palm facing upwards, and there was a slight tremor in his hand as though he was hesitant about scaring me. "Will you come with me?"