Chapter-23. Burning memories
[Xanthea]
Raven stopped the car outside the narrow street. That was as far as a car could go. The alleys leading to my home weren't broad enough to accommodate a car. We had arrived in the Virgo pack in the Earthly realm.
My head was still giddy because of the realm jump that Raven's car made. A few seconds ago, he was racing his car on the roads of the Infernal realm. In the air, I saw a flash of light and it seemed as though we were sucked into a whirlpool. I felt as though my guts had been turned upside down.
The demon lords were about to get down from the car when...
"Alpha!" I called out, and the three of them looked at me. Ezra narrowed his eyes while his brows were raised in annoyance.
"What?" Raven asked coldly.
I lowered my gaze, nibbling my lower lips.
"Umm. Can you please wait in the car? I-I can bring everything you need to you if you just give me some time," I said, and they exchanged glances at one another.
"Very smart! But I don't want to go through the wasteful trouble of trying to hunt you down if you try to run away," Ezra said, opening the door.
"I won't run!" I blurted. "I promise. I know there is nowhere in any realm where I can run and hide from you."
Ezra scoffed.
"So why do you wanna go home alone? Oooooh~ Got a lover? Going to give him a final goodbye kiss, huh? How romantic." "No... I lived alone."
"Of course, you did. Your lover could be your neighbor, dumbo!" Ezra grunted, trying to get out of the car.
"Please! I promise I'll just go back to my house, get the books and diaries, and come back. Nothing else. I promise," I insisted.
"Xanthea, why don't you want us to come to your home?" Asher asked. "If it's just about getting the books then, you can do that with us, right? We could even help you carry them."
I felt my eyes turn misty as I lowered them, fidgeting with my fingers.
"It's... it's just... the place..."
"Are you embarrassed to show us you lived?" Raven said and my body tensed up.
"What? Had your undies scattered on the floor, or did you not clean up after your last sex in this realm? Oh wait, you were a virgin when we married you, so I suppose it isn't the second one," Ezra mocked. "You don't have to be embarrassed about anything. There's nothing about you we haven't already seen."
"No... that's not-"
Before I could say a word more, the three of them got down from the car.
Ezra squinted at the narrow, dimly lit, empty alley.
Taking a deep breath, I got down from the car. The ill feeling in my stomach grew with every step I took closer to my home, with the three of them silently walking behind me.
Ezra took out his handkerchief and covered his mouth and nose.
Although my mother's house wasn't in the slums, it was quite close to it. It was nighttime so most people were sleeping in their patched up houses. Even the ground we walked on was uneven.
With the heels I almost tripped several times, so Asher walked beside me, holding my hand in his.
I mostly tried to avoid looking into their eyes, but right now, I really wanted to disappear.
"How can anyone call this place home?" Ezra's voice was muffled behind his handkerchief. "Forget about anyone. You're a fucking princess, aren't you? Or has the alpha of this pack tricked us? No wonder you were trying to hide this from us! You're not a princess, are you? You're just some omega living in slums. Were you a maid in that palace? Did they replace you with the real princess at the last moment? These sly mortals."
"Ezra, Asher did her background check himself. We can make mistakes, but not Asher," Raven said.
"I know but look at the abomination! H-how can someone even live here? I can't even breathe-"
"Ezra, enough! Go back if this place bothers you so much," Asher said sharply.
"Well... at least now we know why she didn't want us to come," Raven said.
"I am sorry," I mumbled.Nôvel(D)rama.Org's content.
"You don't have to apologize," Asher said, holding my hand tighter.
There was a loud voice in my chest asking me to hold his hand back, but I stopped myself from curling my fingers over his.
"How long do we have to walk?" Ezra grumbled.
"J-just a little further," I said hastily. I could feel the chills of embarrassment brush up my bones.
I stopped outside the corroding metal gate that opened with an ugly creak. I held it open as the three of them walked in and closed it with another ugly creak.
I felt a knot tighten in my stomach as I led them to my apartment through the wooden stairwell.
The key. I lifted the drying up flowerpot of forget-me-nots. The spare key was still stuck under the bottom of the pot. But when I tried the key, I found the door was already unlocked. I clearly remembered locking it. Breathing cautiously, I opened the door, entered my house, and turned on the lights.
The three of them had to lower their heads to pass through the door and enter my small living place.
The foul scent of charcoal hung in the air, and black footsteps were all over the floor.
I gulped hard as the apprehension building in my chest grew more brutal.
My heart hammered against my ribs as I rushed into my bedroom, which was also my library, where I kept my mother's books on the built-in shelves.
As soon as I stepped into my room, I quickly stepped back out, barely able to catch my breath. My eyes widened as my unsteady vision took in the horrifying scene. The air froze in my lungs as a startled gasp, unable to grasp if I had walked into a nightmare or a reality.
Thunderstruck, I covered my mouth with my hand, a shaky breath escaping in small, trembling whimpers.
"Mom... mamma... mamma..." I mumbled as I dashed towards the bookshelves, hoping it to be just a nightmare.
My breaths quickened, becoming shallow and erratic. My fingers ran from one charred book to the other on the shelves.
"Mamma..."
My trembling fingers stopped at one of my mother's diaries. My broken breaths remained stagnant in my lungs as I flipped through its blackened pages just for them to crumble into cinder.
The tightening in my chest clawed its way up my throat. A suffocating weight pressed down on me as panic set in. I hastily checked all the other books and all of them had the same fate. Breathing through my mouth, my knees hit the floor as I hopefully and dreadfully looked under my burned down bed, in the drawers of the study table. Everything. Everything was gone. Mom was gone.
Everything was burned to ashes. Mom was burned to ashes.
"MAMMA!" A scream tore through my throat, transitioning into violent sobs.
Tears streamed down my eyes incessantly. I struggled to draw in a breath. The air seemed to have disappeared, and my heart raced wildly, each beat echoing in my ears like a harsh drum.
I clutched at my chest; my nails dug into my skin as I tried hard to breathe, but couldn't. The more I gasped for air, the more I choked on it. It felt like I was trapped in my own body that hurt and ached in ways I couldn't fathom. Each breath seemed like a stab of dagger and each heartbeat a torture.
I cupped my hands over my mouth and nose, trying to cope with my hyperventilation or panic attack or I didn't even know what it was. But whatever it was, I could bet that dying would have been a thousand times easier.
The sound of my irregular wheezy breaths filled the silence, and I had no idea when I got to my shaking legs, or who I bumped into as I ran out and down the stairs in a hope to escape my emotions that followed me like shadows, dark and unforgiving.
I stopped only when I had reached the backyard where I had created a small garden. Most of the plants in it were forget-me-nots that I grew for my mother. Squatting amidst them, I hugged myself.
"I am safe. This shall pass..." I mumbled to myself, cleaning my upper arms with my icy fingers as I took in deep breaths. "Mom is here. She is here. She is still with me. She has not gone." I placed my hand on my heart and repeated those words until they were forced to turn into a caress.
My mother had come to life within me through her books and diaries, through the passion she shared with me and a dream she made me see. And now they are gone. For the first time in my life, I felt as though I had truly lost my mother forever.
But that wasn't true.
I shut my eyes, battling with my thoughts, and inhaling the aromatic scent of jasmines. Jasmines were my mother's second favorite flower. Every time I imagined my mother, I imagined her to smell like jasmine.
I was still lightheaded, but a lot in control than I was before.
I had an eidetic memory. I could always revisit her diaries and books. And that gave the comfort I looked for in every corner of myself. No one could burn her memories away from my mind.
But who did it? Who could have-
Maybe I already knew the answer. Luna Meesa and Nikolai.
"Xanthea... is that you?" I heard the familiar voice of the old lady who was my neighbor, Mrs Miller.
Wiping off my tears, I stood up and walked to the fence between our houses that were a little more than my knee height. She was the only neighbor who talked to me. She even took care of my flowers when I couldn't. She had been selflessly caring towards me ever since I moved in because perhaps my mother had cured her daughter, so she had always been grateful.
"I heard the gate open and thought maybe they returned," she said in her shaky voice.
"Who?" My voice came out hoarse.
"Oh dear, can't talk about it in the open. Why don't you come to this side? Let's sit in my house over a cup of tea and talk," she said. "Who is she, Xanthea?" Asher's voice came from behind.
00000 I swiftly turned around to see him and Ezra standing at some distance.
I looked at Mrs. Millers and then at them again. Soon after, Raven walked down the stairs, folding some paper and sliding it in his pocket.
"Oh, my..." Mrs. Millers gaped at the triplets, adjusting her glasses on her nose. "Oh, my! Are they... really..." she whispered.
"Mrs. Millers," I bowed before her. "Thank you, but-"
"Are you going? She invited you to her home," Asher said.
I lowered my eyes.
"Would you young men like to have tea?" Mrs. Millers asked. Ezra scrunched his nose.
"Why not? We don't mean to burden you, though," Asher said humbly.
"Oh, no!" Mrs. Millers chuckled. "Come on in, boys."
***
Ezra, Raven and Asher sat on the shabby chairs. Ezra was reluctant to sit at first, but after a glare from Asher and Raven, he sat down, saying it wasn't big of a deal.
They sat in the living room, which wasn't far away from the kitchen when Mrs. Millers boiled the teacups, the most expensive ones she owned.
"When I heard you were being married to the demon lords, I was so worried about you and when they burned down your apartment, I was even more scared, thinking that you... actually died..." she said.
I prepared the tea silently and served it in the cups she washed thrice and boiled once.
She was hunched and walked with the help of a walking stick. She walked out of the kitchen and I followed her, taking the tray of tea outside.
I still couldn't lift my gaze to meet them as I put the tray on the table. Serving tea before the three of them, I served Mrs. Miller and then myself..
"I still can't believe Alphas as great as yourselves are drinking tea in this omega's little home," said Mrs. Millers, smiling warmly.
"Me neither," Ezra said, looking at the teacup as if it was filled with poison.
"Can you tell us what happened to Xanthea's apartment, and who did it?" Asher asked, taking a sip of his tea.
I wasn't expecting them to drink that tea.
"Oh... well... right after the news of her being offered-I mean married to demon lords-reached far and wide... a few days later..." she suppressed her voice as she continued, fearing she might be heard by the walls. "Crown prince Nikolai came and set her place on fire. I didn't see his face, just heard his voice saying how glad he was that now Xanthea is dead."
Ezra chuckled.
"Wow. They are really looking forward to your death, aren't they? Nobody would even care if you died. They wouldn't even want your body. They expect us to burn you like garbage. They dared to smuggle us their trash, didn't they?" Ezra broke into laughter that didn't reach his darkening eyes.
Raven looked at me and I lowered my head, feeling a fresh sting in my numb heart. They already detested me for being an omega, but after today, I didn't know what they'd think about me. Because I was indeed the trash of the royal family, a discarded and unwanted part.
Ezra's laughter faded away. He remained silent for a long stretch of time before he abruptly got up from his chair and so did I.
"Alpha..." I stood before Mrs. Millers, shielding her from Ezra, scared that he might do something unpredictable. Something bad.
"Shut up! Don't you dare open your mouth before me ever again!" The bitterness in his words and the anger in his eyes made me cower under his scrutiny. "They have done it now! I am offended. So, fucking offended. No." He shook his head, running his fingers frustratingly through his hair. "No. I won't let this slide..."