SILENT DESIRES

Victoria sighed and looked at Savannah like she was crazy, which she probably was.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“I have to tell you, I don’t think you should do this,” Victoria said. “I mean it’s Matt, remember. In case you have forgotten, it’s Matt. The man who broke your heart so badly that you had to leave and I had no idea if I was going to see you again. I know you need this job, but he’s your ex and I honestly don’t see any good coming out of this. You are my best friend, and I hate seeing you hurt.”

Savannah understood. Vicky had a point, but she had no choice. She was tired of being a waitress and no reasonable office was willing to offer her a job without her degree. Matt seemed like the only one who was willing to offer her one. It was a bad idea, but she was going to do it anyway. How bad could it be? Really bad, but she didn’t want to think about that.

The reason why she hadn’t called to tell him that she was coming was because she was terrified of him rejecting her. She had rejected the job when he had offered it and she hadn’t seen or spoken to him ever since.

But it had been more than one week now and the little money she had put away was running out. She needed that job. It was a big company and it wouldn’t be so bad… As long as she avoided him.

“I understand why you would say that, Vicky.” Savannah said. “But you also know that I wouldn’t do this if I had any other choice. Just wish me good luck. I’m nervous enough already… Please don’t make it worse”

“I’m sorry honey,” Victoria said. “I’m just trying to look out for you. Good luck, and I hope you get the job.”

Savannah smiled and hugged her friend and five minutes later, she was on her way to Matt’s office.

—————————-

Savannah sat glued to the seat Matt’s secretary had offered her. She smoothed her skirt over her knees and wished she’d worn trousers. At least she would have been more comfortable in those.

This was ridiculous, she thought. She shouldn’t have come here, but she was no coward and she would see this through. Better to try and not get the job than to go home wondering what would have happened if she had tried.

Matt was sure taking his sweet time before asking her into his office. She had a feeling that he was making her wait on purpose. Maybe some kind of punishment for rejecting the job offer in the first place.

His secretary, a nice middle aged woman noticed her uneasiness and smiled at her. “Relax dear” she said to Savannah. “He will be ready to see you soon. He just said he needed a few minutes”

Savannah nodded and smiled back at the nice lady. So her nervousness was so obvious. Urggh.. She hated this. She contemplated leaving, but it was completely ridiculous to have come all this way just to leave again.

She didn’t have a choice. There was no way she was giving up. Her one hope was that he wouldn’t make this too hard on her.

She thought of their relationship. The one he had ended without giving her a chance to explain. She shook her head. Now was not the time to think about that. She had to stay focused.

She wouldn’t look at him, she promised herself. If she didn’t look at him she wouldn’t become tongue-tied or stammer. She’d just pretend that she was in her small sitting room at home, talking to the mirror as she always did when she had something important to do that made her nervous.

Savannah felt her stomach lurch again and this time the feeling of sickness that enveloped her had nothing to do with the fact that she didn’t have breakfast that morning and everything to do with facing Matt and their past. At times like this-times that really mattered-the memories rolled up behind her like a giant wave, waiting to engulf her.

For her this was the ultimate test. And she wouldn’t fail. She just couldn’t. She could use this as a chance to prove to herself that she wasn’t so affected by him anymore.

There was no reason to be afraid of Matt Bradford, she assured herself as she stroked a hand over her straight, formal skirt and forced herself to look unaffected.

It was all in the past, their personal life, no matter how dark, shouldn’t concern her this much anymore. This meeting was about business and, whatever murk hovered around the man, he was a businessman. Surely he would let his personal life affect his work.

The heat made her suit stick to her body and suddenly she realized just how woefully ill-prepared she was to meet him. She wasn’t even comfortable in her clothes.

“Mr Bradford is ready to see you now” the secretary said, and Savannah jerked back into reality

“Thank you” she said. She stood up and began to walk in the direction of his office. As she got close to the office, she almost lost her balance. Stupid shoes, she muttered. Although she knew that it had nothing to do with her shoes but the fact that she was nervous as hell.

Stooping to adjust her shoes, Savannah clutched her bag in her hand and wished she had listened to Vicky. But what difference would that have made? That wouldn’t help her in any way. She regained her balance and straightened.

And saw him.

He stood directly in front of her, as dark and dangerous as anything that might have sprawled out of the jungle, his body completely still, his eyes watchful.

And he was watching her.

Savannah swallowed hard, suddenly at loss for words. She was glad when he tilted his head in the direction of his office door and said. “Come in”

“Have a seat” Matt said when they got into the office. Savannah did as he said, while Matt sat in his chair, facing her. He waited for her to talk.

“Hi,” Savannah said awkwardly.

Matt frowned and lifted an eyebrow. “Hi,” he replied.

“Ermmm, I’m sorry that I didn’t call you before coming,” Savannah began. “I know that I should have”

“Yeah, you should have” Matt said, the frown still on his face.