Chapter 21: Agreement
“So, you are living with your husband now?” I grimace after hearing Helena. She locked her eyes on me with malice in it.
I sipped on my frappe. “How many times do I have to tell–”
“Me that Logan is not your husband,” Helena cut off. She leered. “Come on, Alice… no matter how much you deny it, people who will see you living with Logan will definitely think that you and he were husband and wife.”NôvelDrama.Org © content.
“And you are one of them, didn’t you?” She nodded with a grin on her lips.
I sipped again on my frappe and then darted my eyes outside the cafe we are currently having our snack. It’s been a week since I and Aisle move into Logan’s house and if I were going to tell how was it, well, it’s fine. There’s nothing a problem except that Logan is a tease. Yeah, he is and I actually didn’t like it. I mean, sometimes, I like him in that way. Like a gentleman or the best dad in the whole universe. But there is really a time that I wanted him to act like he didn’t care for me, that he only care about Aisle. I couldn’t help but wish that he will treat me the way he treat me before when he was my boss and I am only his employee. I prefer it to be that way rather than he, being nice and sometimes sweet to me. It’s scaring the hell out of me every time I am caught off guard when he will suddenly hug me, or even kiss me on my forehead. Plus his territorial manner every time Lyndon was in our house. It is freakishly scary knowing that it was Logan, it was him who can easily destroy my guard.
When Helena and I parted ways after enjoying some snacks in the cafe near the company, I headed back to the office. As I walked over to my table, a cup of another frappe didn’t escape my eyes. Confused, I held it up and saw a sticky note on it with a message from Logan. With knotted brows, I glanced at his office only to find his eyes, staring intently at me. Gulping two times, I placed back the frappe and sat on my chair but when my butt is just nearly kissing the chair’s surface, Logan speaks from the intercom-telling me to go inside.
“Do you need anything?” I asked flatly.
He shook his head before standing and walking over me. When he is already in front of me, he held me on my both shoulders and bring me closer to him. Thinking that he was going to steal a kiss from me-which he always did- I pushed him away from me instantly. He chuckled and then let go of me afterward.
“Do you like the frappe I bought for you?” he asked as soon as he sat again on his chair.
“I just finished a frappe in a cafe before I go back in here,” I answered which caused his brows to twist.
“Cafe? With Lyndon again?”
I rolled my eyes. “Nah but if ever I go on a cafe date with Lyndon, you have nothing to deal with it. Mindo your own business, Logan.”
“Did you just tell me that I should not interfere with your life, is that it Alice?” He glared at me menacingly.
I shrugged off. “You’re the one who told that, not me. Why do you call me anyway? Do you need something?” I inquired, changing a topic.
When he told me that he didn’t need anything from me, instead of scolding him, I went back to my table. After that conversation inside his office that late afternoon, Logan didn’t talk to me nor drive me home. And even when we are both in the house, I noticed that he is silent on me which is unlikely for him since we live with him. Shoving away my thoughts, I tried to ignore him too.
“Mommy,” Aisle suddenly called while I am reading a bedtime story for her.
I looked her down and answered, “Time for your milk?” Aisle shook her head, sitting in the middle of her bed.
“Are you and Daddy having a fight?” she asked, throwing me speechless. Fight? Of course, we didn’t. I was about to answer her when the door opened-hanging my words into the air.
“We didn’t fight, baby, what makes you think like that?” It was Logan, in his bared top and white sweat pants. He dives on Aisle’s bed with his chest and abdomen first and then twisting around, supporting his body with his two arms. “Daddy and Mommy were okay, right, baby?” Logan turned on me while I is unable to answer immediately because of his endearment.
I nod as an answer instead. My God, Alice! What is the hell wrong with you?! It is just his ‘baby endearment’ he always used. Why does your tongue always catch by a cat when he called you using that word?!
When Logan snatches the book from me to continue reading the bedtime story for Aisle, I went outside her room without them noticing it. Around eight in the night when I heard my room’s door click which made me alerted on my bed. Since the light is turned off, I couldn’t see who sneak into my room without my permission.
“Who’s that?” I asked.
“It’s me.” His voice sent chills and electricity on my spine as soon as I heard it. Gulping, I turned on the bed lamp only to see Logan, standing at the edge of my bed. “Let’s talk, Alice,” he said with his deep manly voice.
“Talk about what? And can we please talk about that outside? Not here in my room.”
“Why we can’t talk about it here? Calm your ass, baby, I won’t going to harass you. We are just going to talk about our near wedding.”
I don’t know what part of what he has said that made my heart thumped harshly against my chest. Was it the baby? The dirty meaning he is obviously trying to imply or the word which is strange and eerie for me to hear?
***
“Have you already thought of my proposal, huh?” I look Logan up as he suddenly butts in, stopping me from writing some reports.
“Can you please live me alone for a while? I am still busy for me to think of your shit, Logan.” He shrugged his shoulder before stepping out of the office, leaving me frustrated and pressured as well.
When I am already alone, I slammed my hands on my table and then brought my face in my palms afterward. Memories of last night-when Logan talked to me about the married- flash one by one inside my mind.
“What wedding are you talking about?!” I asked, confusion is consuming me as I stared at his expressionless face. “Are you expecting me to be married to you?!” I rose a voice once again while pointing my index finger at him.
He calmly sat at the edge of my bed. “Don’t overreach, Alice. The wedding isn’t for you.”
“Then whom? If it wasn’t for me then why did just say ‘our’?”
“What I mean is, yeah, it is our wedding but the marriage wasn’t for you but Aisle. I want my child bare my name, Alice. And we can’t do it unless we get married,” he reasoned out making me furiously brush my hair with my fingers.
“We can change her name if that’s what you want. The heck, Logan… marriage isn’t the only way. Why would I even tying a knot with the man I didn’t love–”
“You didn’t love?” he asked, staring at me with an unknown expression in his eyes. “Alice, there are a lot of couples who got married even though they didn’t love each other. If love is what marriage means to you, then we can teach our heart to love each other.”
“We can not teach our heart to love someone you didn’t love, Logan. What the hell?! For goodness’ sake, marriage is sacred, Logan.”
“Fine.” He stood up, putting his hands in his pockets. “I won’t pressure you so much, I’ll let you think about my proposal so let me know when you already think about it. Remember, for Aisle… for our child.”
Darn! For Aisle, for Aisle! He always based his decision just for Aisle, for our child’s sake. But how about mine? Teach our hearts to love each other. Huh, how can he even do his own words knowing that he’s still madly in love with his ex? Damn him! What does he think of me? A robot or a toy that doesn’t feel anything so he can play with it anytime. For heaven’s sake, I am still a woman with a heart… a heart for him yet he acts like he didn’t aware of it. He is talking about a very delicate matter yet for him, he acted like it was just a plain arcade game that when you lost, you lost. That’s it. That you can restart the game until you win.
“So, what was your answer?” It was Helena, on the phone while I am taking a warm bath.
Scrubbing my leg with foam, I answered. “Of course, I didn’t agree. Is he even thinking that marriage is not just about responsibility? It’s about in commitment as well, Helena.”
“Idiot!” she scolded from the other line which made me frown. “Come on, Alice, you are not a teenager anymore. For goddamn sake, you’re already twenty-six! Don’t act like you were so innocent about life.”
“It’s not about being innocent or not, Helena. It is my heart I am going to put at stake when I agree on his proposal. We both know what was his reason and it will never be me.”
It will never be me because just like what he said, he is doing all of this for Aisle. The reason is Aisle. He only cared for Aisle and not on me and he will never be.
“Alice, is it not clear to you why he asked you for marriage? Damn, girl! I don’t know if you are just born an idiot or not. He asked you to get married to him because he clearly wanted to be married to you as well.”
It made me stop scrubbing. Staring at my phone where Helena is, I gulped. He wanted to be married to me? Huh, that’s ridiculous. Why would I even believe in that laughable joke?
But later on that night, after being drowned by my own thoughts, I only find myself outside Logan’s room. With my hand hanging on the air, attempting to knock for almost how many times but at the end, doubts and fear conquered me. Breathing out harshly and deeply, I turned my back and was about to go back into my room when the door flew open. The familiar manly scent of him instantly registered in my mind.
“What is it?” he asked in his deep voice.
Twirling back to face him, I almost curse loud upon seeing him in his almost naked look with a boxer only covering his down there.
“Eyes up here, Alice.” I instantly lifted my eyes on him and then felt the shame upon seeing his naughty grin on his lips. “What is it?” he asked afterward.
Summoning my remaining guts, I answered in a low voice. “About the proposal, you are talking about… Uhm… I already made a decision even if it is really hard for me. Because you know, we didn’t love each other and it is hard to–”
“Just go straight to the point, Alice,” he cuts, seems like he is nearly losing his patience.
I bit on my bottom lip before finally letting my decision out. “Let’s get married.”
Let’s get married even though I am the only one here who has this feeling for you while you are still in love with your ex.