Chapter 61
Alpha CARAMEL’S POVAll content © N/.ôvel/Dr/ama.Org.
One of the best qualities of being an Alpha is the fact that I can remain calm even in tough situations, but unfortunately, this situation differed completely from any other. Going insane was not too far from where I was because I had not yet found my wife. I was still trying to wrap my head around it when they announced that Joanna was also missing.
“Search this mansion now!” I commanded the guards who were scattered around. They bowed and quickly went on their way to carry out what I had instructed. Axel was barely keeping it together. I was close to get into that point too. Lavender just had to be found. She must be in this mansion. Beta Asher had told me that no one went into the mansion, so where could Lavender and Joanna be?
I folded my fist, trying to suppress my emotions because they were slowly getting to the surface. A couple of times, I glanced at the couch to take a seat, but I did not have the energy to do so. I kept pacing up and down. After thirty minutes, a few guards came to me, but they did not bear any news I wanted to hear.
In fact, I wanted them to walk over to me with my wife. But they came back with gloomy expressions on their faces laced with fear. “Go back and find her!” I barked, and they scrambled out of the room. This was an indication that I was slowly getting to the peak where I would no longer have a hold of my emotions. I paused as I shut my eyes. Memories. Terrible memories were coming back to me, and I hated every bit.
I tried to push them away, just like I have for years now. It has been so long and not once have those memories affected me as it was at the moment. The memory of me rushing over to where the dead body of my mate lay came to my mind. The feeling of fear and loss washed over me. I hated this feeling. I tried as much as possible to change the feeling to something tangible and that was trying as much as possible to protect my pack and prevent what had happened before to repeat itself, but now I was stuck here.
I didn’t know what to believe. How could I possibly find my wife? I needed to find her. What happened before could not repeat itself or I might go insane. Was the moon goddess trying to test me? This was too huge of a test. I did not have those emotions in check just yet. I wanted to save my mate when it happened, but I could not. Is it the same thing that would happen again with Lavender? Was I going to be here while she was taken away from me forever? Was this a punishment for not making her my Luna on time?
The only comfort I had was my questions, but they were not getting answers either. I needed answers. I needed Lavender. I wanted her here. I wanted to see her smile and be filled with her scent all over again, but that was taking a lot of time. I had fought Alpha Toot, hoping I would be with my wife in a matter of minutes, but it had been over an hour now and I was still yet to find her. A part of me felt like I should have told her to come with me, but another part that was more logical knew that would have put her in more danger.
The rogue attack came to my mind again. It felt like it did not want to leave me alone for a second because even when I was able to take it away for some time, it would reappear in my mind. I was very young at the time of that attack. No one expected it. It sent the pack into a spiral in minutes. My father had quickly told me to join in the fight to get the rogues out of the pack. I obliged without a second thought, but who would have thought that they were after something else more precious; my mate? No matter how I tried to protect her by fighting as many rogues as possible, it was not enough because that only served as a much needed distraction for me.
They successfully made her run distances away from me. I tried as much as possible to run after her, but there were enough rogues to keep me busy. When I eventually took down all the rogues, I thought I had saved my mate, only to find out that they had killed her moments before I arrived, which not only broke me down, but I lost it on that day. I didn’t want to accept that she was gone. I took her in my arms and rushed back to the mansion so vitals could be checked by my mother, but Mum did not have to carry out a thorough check to know that she was gone.
I kept telling her to continue checking, and that she was wrong. Anyone could see that she was dead. Her face was disfigured, and it was only a thin line preventing us from seeing her heart. Every part of her was bleeding and usually I was meant to feel her, but I did not. At that point, I lost every sense of composure. I wanted to lock myself in a room for days and not speak with anyone. However, the rogues had not had their fill, which eventually led to the war. I was not mentally prepared for it, but I knew I had to. My father told me to channel that pain towards the people that came for war.
It worked for the time being, but it did not protect my father. He was heading another part of the war and I, the other. When it was finally over, it was then I was told that my father did not make it alive. The news broke my mother, and I was never given a chance to be me and I was given the title of Alpha, where I had to decide to do my best to protect my pack. I stopped pacing around and just stared at the wall as the memories replayed in my mind. Mum quickly realized what was happening.
“Son, sit,” she spoke to me softly. I took my eyes off the wall and to my mother. With a gentle gaze, she told me to do it. As much as I didn’t want to do it, I knew I needed to. If I kept standing, who knew what would happen? The moment I took a seat, Mum placed her hand over mine. That was one thing about her. Mum knew when to be my mother. Most of the time, she gave me that respect as the Alpha, but she never once forgot or ignored me when I needed my mother. I turned to her, and she smiled before giving me a single nod.
Even though it did not completely eradicate my emotions, it helped me calm down enough to use my brain. For now, I needed to wait. Hopefully, the guards will come back with good news for me. I really wanted it to be good news. It took some time before the guards came back. My eyes went around because they came in a good number, trying to find Lavender or Joanna between them. However, they were not with them. The moment they got to where I sat, Beta Asher came forward.
He bowed. “We found something.”