The Mate He Hates

Amanda’s POV

Entering my room, I felt anger, pain, and heartbreak all at once. I hated the fact that after all he had done to me, I still cared for him, yet he was driving me away. He had no right to do that.

Pacing around my room, my emotions bubbled inside of me, and no matter how hard I tried to control them, I just couldn’t. Pain, anger, heartbreak-they all surged through me. I was pained that he was sending me away, asking me to leave his room. I was his mate, for goodness’ sake. I was supposed to be by his side, not him sending me away. I was angry not just at him but at myself for feeling so much concern over a man who had been brutal to me, a man who had made me wish for death. I was angry that despite all he had done to me, I couldn’t hate him like I should. I was heartbroken seeing him in such a fragile condition. Alpha Edward was a leader, and not being able to walk was a brutal blow to him. I knew he was going through a lot, and that was why I wanted to be by his side and comfort him. But he had to send me away!

A knock came on my door, and when I asked the person in, the door opened to reveal Matthew.

“Are you okay?” he asked, and I frowned and looked away from him.

“I know you are angry, but you have to understand what he is going through,” Matthew said while I still ignored him.

A moment of silence hung in the air before Matthew continued. “He has asked me to send you to our parents,” Matthew said, and I raised a brow at him.

“Excuse me?” I spat with anger. “What gives him the right to send me away?” I yelled, fuming with rage.

Matthew sighed, running a hand through his hair as he closed the door behind him. “Amanda, he’s doing this because he cares about you,” he said, his voice calm but firm.

I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest. “Cares about me? By sending me away? That’s a funny way of showing it.”

“He’s trying to protect you,” Matthew continued, stepping closer. “He doesn’t want you to see him like this. You know how much his pride means to him. Being unable to walk is tearing him apart, and he doesn’t want you to witness his struggle.”

I shook my head, tears stinging my eyes. “I don’t care about his pride. I care about him. I want to be there for him, to support him. But he keeps pushing me away.”

Matthew reached out, gently placing a hand on my shoulder. “I know, Amanda. I know it’s hard. But maybe some time away will help you both. Give him a chance to come to terms with his situation. And give you a chance to heal from everything that’s happened.”

I pulled away from his touch, the anger bubbling up again. “I don’t need time away. I need to be here. He needs me, whether he admits it or not.”

“Amanda, please,” Matthew pleaded. “Just consider it. Go to our parents, take a break. You both need it.”

I turned away from him, staring out the window. I couldn’t explain why I couldn’t just leave; I had always wanted to leave, so why can’t I now?

“Amanda…”

“I will leave only when I want to,” I stated firmly.

Matthew released a soft sigh. “Alright, but I have told Dad about you, and he really wants to see you. For Mother, I haven’t said anything to her. It’s better she sees you herself,” Matthew muttered while I remained silent. I wanted to see my biological mother and perhaps my father, but not now-now wasn’t the right time.

“Tell him I will see him when I want to,” I murmured, and heard Matthew hum before leaving.

After he left, I turned around and sat on the bed, unable to explain the emotions bubbling inside of me. My mind was a mess.

Moments later, Sophia entered my room with worry etched on her face. “Are you okay?” she asked, and I couldn’t respond. Instead, I sighed and frowned.

Sophia sat on the bed beside me and settled her gaze on me. “Matthew told me Alpha Edward had asked you to leave. Is that what is bothering you?” she asked, and I couldn’t respond.

“And you don’t want to leave…”

“Why should I?” I murmured. “I will only leave when I want to, but until then, I am not going anywhere,” I stated firmly.

“You care for him, right? That is why you can’t leave him in such situations…”

“I don’t,” I said firmly. “I just… I just feel pity for him,” I managed to say while Sophia looked at me, clearly not believing my claims.

“Well, he doesn’t want you to feel sorry for him. He wants you to leave, so why can’t you leave unless you care and worry for him?” she accused while I groaned and looked away. There was no need lying to Sophia-it’s obvious she could see right through me.

“If you care for him, then why don’t you tell him? Tell him that you care for him and that is why you are not leaving,” she said, while I scoffed and got up. “I think something is wrong with me…”

“Nothing is wrong with you, Amanda. You just care for him, and it is pretty normal seeing that he is your mate and in such conditions.”

I sighed and shook my head. “I shouldn’t be feeling this way, Sophia. I shouldn’t.”

“Feeling something you think you shouldn’t doesn’t mean it’s wrong,” Sophia said gently. “It just means you’re human, Amanda. Your emotions are valid, and it’s okay to feel conflicted.”

I turned away, crossing my arms over my chest. “But why do I care so much? After everything he’s done to me, why can’t I just hate him like I should?”

Sophia placed a comforting hand on my back. “Because he’s your mate. The bond between mates is powerful, and despite everything, it’s natural to want to protect and care for him. It doesn’t mean you forget or forgive what he’s done, but it means you’re connected in a way that’s hard to break.”

I sighed deeply, feeling the weight of her words. “I don’t know if I can do this, Sophia. I don’t know if I can keep going when he keeps pushing me away.”

“You don’t have to decide everything right now,” Sophia said. “Take it one day at a time. Focus on what you need to do for yourself. And remember, it’s okay to seek help. You’re not alone in this.”

I nodded, though the turmoil inside me didn’t lessen. “Thanks, Sophia. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime,” she replied with a soft smile. “And if you ever need to talk or just need someone to listen, I’m here.”

With that, Sophia left the room, and I was alone again with my thoughts.

Deciding to leave my room, I met Levi, who seemed to be on his way out.

“Are you going somewhere?” I asked, and he nodded. “I feel suffocated in here, so I want to go for a walk,” he said, and I nodded. I wanted to walk away but stopped. “Can I come with you? I also feel suffocated in here,” I pleaded, and he agreed without hesitation.

“Thank you.”Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g

“I should be the one thanking you for your company,” he said while I smiled and began walking with him.

We left the mansion on foot and began walking around the streets of the town. Sucking in a deep breath, I tried to calm my emotions and let go of all that was disturbing me.

“You know you need to have some rest,” Levi sounded worried, and I sighed.

“I can’t sleep,” I murmured.

“Is it because of my cousin?” he asked, and I didn’t give a response.

“He is so lucky,” Levi muttered, causing me to look his way with a raised brow. “Why?”

Levi smiled. “Because you still care for him despite all he has done to you,” he said, while I swallowed hard and looked away. It seemed everyone could read through me, and I hated it.

We continued walking in silence for a while, the only sound being our footsteps on the pavement. The fresh air and gentle breeze helped calm my mind, and I felt a sense of gratitude towards Levi for suggesting this walk.

After a few minutes, Levi broke the silence. “Amanda, may I ask you something?”

I turned to him, curious. “What is it?”

“Why do you think Edward is pushing you away?” Levi asked, his eyes filled with genuine concern.

I sighed, unsure of how to answer. “I don’t know, Levi. I thought it was because he didn’t want me around, but now… I’m not so sure.”

Levi nodded thoughtfully. “I think he’s scared, Amanda. Scared of his own vulnerability and the fact that he needs you.”

I sighed, and we continued walking until I spotted an ice cream spot. “Let’s go in,” I suggested, and Levi agreed.

We walked into the ice cream parlor, and the sweet aroma of freshly made waffle cones and ice cream filled my senses. I couldn’t help but smile as we approached the counter.

“What flavor would you like, Amanda?” Levi asked, his eyes scanning the options.

I hesitated, unsure of what to choose. “Surprise me,” I said finally, and Levi grinned. He ordered two scoops of mint chocolate chip and handed me a cone. I took a lick, and the cool, creamy texture melted in my mouth. It was exactly what I needed.

We sat down at a small table by the window, and I savored my ice cream, feeling a sense of peace wash over me. Levi watched me with a warm smile, and I knew he was happy to see me enjoying myself.

“Thanks, Levi,” I said, my voice soft. “This is really good.”

“Anytime, Amanda,” he replied. “I’m just glad I could help take your mind off things.”

I nodded, taking another lick of my ice cream. We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, enjoying our treats and the quiet atmosphere of the parlor. Then, Levi spoke up again.

“Amanda, may I ask you something else?”

I looked at him curiously. “What is it?”

“Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive Edward?” Levi asked, his eyes serious.

I hesitated, unsure of how to answer. Forgiveness was a complicated thing, and I didn’t know if I was ready to consider it. But as I looked at Levi, I knew he was genuine in his concern.

“I don’t know, Levi,” I said finally. “I want to, but it’s hard. He’s hurt me so much.”

Levi nodded understandingly. “I get it. Take your time.” He smiled at me and went back to his ice cream. I watched him for a moment and realized he had changed a lot. He was so different from the man I met five years ago. This Levi seated before me seemed kind, warm, and so different. When he caught me staring at him, I had to awkwardly look away.

We left the ice cream shop and decided to stroll back to the mansion. We walked in comfortable silence until I decided to speak. “When will your cast be taken off?”

“In a few days,” he responded, and I hummed, trying to bring up another conversation. “Do you have a mate?” I suddenly asked out of curiosity, but Levi shook his head.

“Unfortunately, I haven’t met my mate yet,” he responded, and I nodded. “If I can’t find her soon, then I will have to choose someone else,” he said, and I nodded and looked away.

We continued walking in silence until we arrived at the mansion and bade goodbye to each other.

It was already dark, so I decided to go check on Liam. But strangely, I felt compelled to check up on Alpha Edward instead. I knew it was a bad idea; he didn’t want to see me, but a strong force was compelling me to go to him. Left with no other option, I made my way to his room instead, and arriving at his door, I hesitated for a moment before holding the doorknob.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly opened the door and stepped inside. The room was dimly lit, and I immediately spotted Edward on the floor, wounded. My heart clenched at the sight, and I rushed towards him.

“Edward!” I called out, my voice laced with worry.

He looked up at me, his eyes filled with pain and frustration. “What are you doing here?” he growled, trying to push himself up but failing.

“I came to check on you,” I said, ignoring his anger as I knelt beside him, reaching out to help him.

“Don’t touch me!” he snapped, his voice rough and desperate. “I told you to leave!”

Ignoring his words, I tried helping, but he slap my hand away. “You’re hurt, Edward. Let me help you.”

“Get out!” he yelled, his voice breaking. “I don’t want you to see me like this! I don’t want your pity!”