Chapter 471 -
~CLARA~
I was nervous. I've thought about this moment so often that I've lost count. I made it all up in my head, and now that it was finally happening, I couldn't stop the wild beating of my heart.
I wanted to be closer to Alaric, but I couldn't get the fact that Nicole was back in his life out of my head.
How could I be okay with that?
Did he expect to keep the both of us in his life? I would never be okay with something like that.
I knew I should ask him about it before I gave him a part of myself that I never gave to anyone else. However, I didn't know if I had the strength to do so. I've wanted this for so long that I didn't want to say no when it was finally happening.
Something was wrong. I've known Alaric for a while now, and I knew that he wasn't acting like himself. Something was troubling him, and I was very aware that it had to do with Nicole.
I'm staring at the door to his office; I've been staring at it for over a minute now.
The door opens suddenly without me having to knock. Was he waiting for me this entire time? How was he able to tell that I was here?
He stepped aside for me to enter, and I slowly did. I felt a shiver down my spine when the door closed behind me.
I expected him to put his hands on me right away. My eyes were closed, and I slowly opened them when a few seconds passed, and I didn't feel him near me.
I'm surprised to find him leaning up against his desk with his arms folded over his chest, watching me.
"I can sense your nervousness, Clara." He finally says.
I bite my lip before I say, "I'm not nervous."
He quirks a brow at me, and I suddenly can't look away from his penetrating gaze, "You don't have to lie to me. I can see it very clearly. You can't hide it very well."
I run my fingers lightly over my arm to calm my nerves, "I don't know what to say."
He runs a hand down his face, and I can tell that he is having an inner battle within himself.
"I'm sorry, Clara." he apologizes. "I don't want to do anything that you're uncomfortable doing. I shouldn't have forced this on you."
"W-what?" I gasp.
He wasn't forcing me to do anything that I didn't want to do. I've wanted this for so long; he must know that. I've never tried to hide it from him. In fact, I've even said this to him before.
"This was never a good idea from the start." He continues. "It just so happens that I must fill in for an absent professor. I have five minutes left. It's definitely not enough time to do what I want to do to you."
"But—"
He walks towards the door and places his hand on the handle, ready to throw me out yet again.
"I shouldn't have entertained something like this." He tells me. "I know you deserve better, and yet I continued to mess around."
Mess around?
What the hell did he mean by that?
"I can't believe you," I whisper. "You're running away yet again. How can you tell me all those things and then change your mind the next day?"
His breaths are loud as he leans into me, "I can tell that you aren't ready for me, Clara. I'm not doing this until I'm sure you're ready."
"Let's be real with each other for once," I snap. "You're never planning on doing it with me. So stop messing with my emotions!"
His jaw clenches as I angrily push him away from me. I didn't need him to open the door for me to leave. I could go on my own.
My anger only increased for the remainder of the day. I spent hours filled with rage because he turned me down yet again.
I was supposed to visit Scarlett today, and he knew that, but I chose not to do it. Instead, I went straight home. I didn't need to see him with Nicole again.
He was having second thoughts, and it was because of her, not because he thought I didn't deserve him.
I wasn't even sure if I ever knew him at this point. I didn't think he would turn out to be such a player. He was playing with my feelings, and I hated how it made me feel.
I was done messing around. If he didn't want me, then so be it. I would transfer from his class tomorrow and only visit Scarlett when she needed my help.
I angrily slam my room door and throw myself onto my bed. His shirt was still tucked neatly near my pillow. I grab it with every intention to throw it away. Yet, for some reason, I couldn't.
I knew I couldn't just throw my feelings for him away like that.
I never admitted it to myself before, but I was undoubtedly in love with Alaric. This feeling in my chest was stronger than anything I had ever felt in my life.
I was in love with him. The physical attraction between us was powerful, but the feeling in my heart was even stronger.
My fingers tighten around the shirt as I pull it closer to my chest.
My eyes widened when I felt my bed move—that scent.
Alaric.
He was here.
Before I have a chance to turn around, I feel his body right above mine. His lips are now a few inches away from my neck.
"Alaric," I manage to gasp.
Could this be a dream?
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This felt too real to be a dream. He was here.
"I thought I could stay away from you," he growls against my ear. "But I'm sorry Clara, I can't. I'll never be able to stay away from you. I understand that now. The only person that can take you away from me is. . . You."